why do serial cheaters want to stay married10 marca 2023
why do serial cheaters want to stay married

Brent, Your observations are just so accurate in my opinion. She found a note Id given him which he kept in his work book. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. They're just louder and more conniving. How To Get A Girlfriend In Real Life? You are a good person, dont ever think your not, and dont ever think your not deserving of a happy marriage with your h, because you are. They may be more willing to put their relationships on the line. Turns out it wasnt anything I had done, it was all she was doing, she planted her bait, and let him nibble at it, until she hooked him, by playing with his head. And the most important question you are asking yourself. Apart from financial loss, cheating husbands may also stand to lose the people closest to them. Its like they say, misery loves company. I think one thing bothering me after my husband cheated was that I felt I had to act like someone I wasnt. And what's most heartbreaking about these statistics is, of those who had been cheated on and found out about it, most probably never saw it coming at least, not until it was too late. February 10, 2023; My Cheating Husband is Only Concerned About Losing his Money After Having an Affair February 5, 2023; I'm Not Sure I Want My Cheating Husband Around My Kids January 29, 2023 They are unhappy in the marriage because of X,Y, z, whatever the made up excuse is to justify doing something they know is wrong. What's even more disturbing about cheaters is that not only do they know. You made a mistake at thinking that I would think like you, but you were wrong. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them. The pig is there wallowing in the mud with other pigs. Leaving a marriage, no matter what the circumstance, is very difficult. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. The answer is, you can't. Either way his w would have found out the truth! So she is not one to give up easily. And I dont mean that in a bad way. If you've been cheated, trust that you're not alone in this experience and, though this is hurtful, it doesn't reflect on your worth as a partner or person. I mean who really wants to be with someone who is always complaining and continues to live in such a seemingly miserable existance if all their complaints about their spouses are true. I am fine, I knew along time ago, that she must have had an eye on my h, just by the rumours her h apparently spread about her. 1. His AP sounds unstable and emotionally abusive. Many men and women have a paramour unbeknownst to their partner. You go through their phone records, email, wallet, anything that might prove what you already suspect. The engagement ring, the fact that we worked at the same company on the same floor, the fact that we seemed to have an excellent relationship in all areas, and the fact that we owned a home together had lulled me into a false sense of security. A colossal waste of time. I truly believe shes a very nice person who got sucked in by a self serving narcissist. Cinderella is kind of a bitch. I could not have predicted the way this thread would go a year ago I am bowled over by your compassion! I spent a year being told the problems in our marriage were due to me, so I tried to fix me. I am also a marketing copywriter specializing in sales funnels. If it walks like a jerk and talks like a jerk, ITS A JERK! This was not her first rodeo. 12. as well as other partner offers and accept our. I guess these guys cheat to prove they can, especially since they are sorry lovers a lot of the time. In his defense, which you wont hear often, lol, I have never heard my husband flirt or act inappropriately with any other woman in public or in my presence. I see them in therapy, and theyre ready to change; its usually because theyve gotten older, theyve gotten wiser, theyve destroyed their life, and theyre basically alone and miserable. I was new to the job and he was a tease and a flirt. I hope and pray that you find peace soon as well as a loving support system. Also among the signs of a serial cheater is the tendency to get bored and seek new thrills. You tend to believe that if they dont answer their phone or if they are coming home late, they must certainly be with this other person. Did his wife ever acknowledge your letter to her? The good news is, the place where he works has shifts and different employees are rotated through different shifts constantly. As Graber says, "Risk takers may discover that cheating provides them with the same adrenaline rush as other risky behaviors." "Cheating can be emotional, and/or physical. So she could see, how nice it was. my AP was my first boyfriend, my first lover, I truly thought he was my soulmate, one true love for YEARS. I knew that was overstepping but I liked it. For serial cheaters, it's all about them and what they can gain from their affairs. Each and every one of the men I've met who fall into this category realize that if their wife discovered their infidelity that she would be very . Talk about disrespecting an employer! Im just going to always listen to my gut and see the red flags as real and not doubt my own intuition. I crack myself up:). Another one of the most common reasons cheating husbands stay married is fear of what they might be losing. Its all unreal and a fantasy but these alternative scenarios have to exist in their minds and in their stories. 3. I think theyre nervous giggles after being spoken to by TH. Watch the smiles, the eye contact, the verbals and non verbals Only then will you be certain of what you are really dealing with. I guess that my main point , and maybe Trying Hard too , but I cant say since Im not her, is this. Actually the OW didnt work for him but worked for a vendor and she begged for a job with my Hs company. Other men are afraid to hurt their wives. There was never any resolution to his parents behavior and they never changed. TH you really didnt offend me at all you know that is why Im here . He was an addict first and far most. Just like the assistant I hired and fired, I saw way to many clues with her and her real intentions and shut her shit show down fast. I have thought about asking him to shut himself down, but that isnt fair because he never does anything inappropriate and does not even engage in any kind of conversation that is R rated. You are not that type of person, I could see that the first time you posted here. Im getting back to myself, and I like it. That is the only way to be since trying to fix someone ultimately ends in frustration and bitterness. But, of course, they keep doing it and they don't change. He was my high school bf, we sleep slept together when I was 16, off and on til about 20. "Narcissists are preoccupied with feeding their ego, which makes them prime candidates to be serial cheaters," she says. Constant anxiety if you cant track down your spouse. Someone who knows who you are and likes who you are. All Rights Reserved. Without this shock, neither my h or I would have discovered all our problems and it is likely wed have split somewhere down the line. You can also subscribe without commenting. There could be many reasons for a serial cheating husband to want to stay married, and all of them represent an inner conflict. Compulsive cheaters will go to great lengths to hide that behavior from a partner. It kind of makes me sad that you still care about this wellbeing because, in a way, he is still being able to take from you, albeit in a whole different way than before. Once I began understanding the level of pain I had caused his w (after reading Lindas 10 things I hate about you and reading the experiences of other bss I desperately wanted to let his w know I accepted responsibility for my part and that I wanted to reassure her I would never talk to her h again. 2010-2019 Emotional Affair Journey. Regardless of what they say, never feel bad for wanting to get to know more about the person you are dating. So they want both comfort zone and dont wanna break the marriage. Serial cheaters have spent years practicing and perfecting ways to hide their dirty deeds. I also prefer alone time, despise talking on the phone & texting, would rather listen than talk, love to read, cook, garden, watch movies by myself. I would rather have been labeled bat shit crazy a year ago than experiencing my life now. What it boils down to is opportunity, lack of personal moral code, and a great talent for lies, manipulation and entitlement. New job etc not helping! Do not friend this woman but do let her know youre on to her. Maybe he doesnt think he will ever get caught so he doesnt see the harm in continuing both the affair and his marriage. I am so happy that you two have come out the other side even stronger. "Serial cheaters are often unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others,"says Alsaleem. Honestly, when I cheated on my girlfriend I had no idea why I did it. Out of body experiences. Thats the truth. The Psychodynamic Process Enables Cheating In the quest for narcissistic supply, the somatic narcissist resorts to serial sexual conquests. But pish paw, they can deal with the fallout when that time comes and mostly in their minds IF it comes because they dont ever believe they will get caught. They also may enjoy living two separate lives. People on affairs like it cause they make up the rules as they go. The crunch came when he sent me a public Facebook message on my holiday saying how quiet it was and they all missed me. Generally, you should only stay married to a cheating man if he expresses genuine regret and is willing to work hard to improve the relationship and rebuild trust. There are millions of men out there just waiting for people like you. Maybe they just had the opportunity and decided to go for it. Those who are likely to have multiple affairs possess one or more of these traits, which take a starring role in their personalities. OK huggggss to you and I will be raising my glass of Chablis to you tonight Eyes! He hates all that in men and women and yet.. Well you know. It premiered on TNT on July 12, 2010, and set a record as cable TV's most watched commercial-supported series launch. They know how to use their charm in order to win people over pretty easily. Even if he does feel like theres something missing in his marriage, the love may still be there. Honestly, talk about blinders being on. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. TH you have life sussed! I had very little outside experience, but always suspected he was not very good in bed, and I was right. Using a licensed therapist as a sounding board as you work your way towards a decision will be the best move you can make in this situation. My husband does have a part in this and here is what it is: he is the type of guy who is so affable that he has no enemies. It could seem like the best of both worlds. Thanks for answering. Attend couples counseling if you plan to stay together so you can rebuild trust. The truth is. I finished high school and vocational school then took a job in engineering drafting in a large company. And by the way, I do not blame his other girlfriend for doing those things because I got to experience through my friend the level of mind-f****ing this guy used in order to keep his victims close at hand. It's even harder when you realize it may not be the first time your partner has cheated on you or on their former partners. To understand why people serially cheat, it's important to take note of what our collective definition of cheating is. One-time cheaters are less likely to view cheating as a way to get an adrenaline rush. They crave attention or an ego boost, so they have an affair. Food may not interest you in the least, or you may dive into the junk food, especially sweets, which will give you an endorphin, feel-good rush (before making you crash and feel even more horrible). Yes your husband fell for cousin Its sob story because he had to in order to justify the affair. I was completely bowled over. December 6, 2019. If both people want to repair the relationship, the first step is for the cheating partner to take full responsibility. But, I can bet you money that if he would have left to be with her, just being with her would be a hell worse than anything Dante could have imagined. Many men and women go years without knowing that their partners or significant others have cheated until they see the affair firsthand. Who wouldnt?? Fast forward to the tenth time she hooks up with Prince Charmings best friend, and Cinderella doesnt give a single damn. How and why did it end and who ended it? Dont do that again!!! They found him and he found them. The spouses inability to have personal boundaries and their commitments to their primary relationships. Weve all acted with boorish behavior, the trick is knowing and acknowledging it, accepting it and change. But for a serial cheater, theres only hope to change their mind, and thats fairly rare. I will never understand this, for many reasons, but knowing it exists, I am pro-active. So, my husband is charming like that, but with everyone, even if they are 90-year-old men who are wheelchair bound. Th, exactly, any attention given by the h just makes her misread his intentions for her own good. Its not the marriage, its whos in the other half of the marriage. He tells himself it will never happen again. There is an awesome book called Quiet that describes the incredible value introverts have to offer, especially in terms of future innovation and contributions to society. Smart, but super shady. So you have a fellow introvert here on EAJ as well as a southerner. She figured that way, he would have no contact with me, he would not need to give me child support, yet I would have to give him child support instead, so her little pocket stays full of money. So basically, the more times a person cheats, the better they feel about cheating, so they do it again. I have found over my 4+ decades that I am unusual, complex and unique. Lol. Apologies for the delay. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? They like deceit. It shocked him, when he saw I chose to fight for him. I mean, was he the one who started showing interest? So fast track to now, today we are celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary!!!!!! EOs MM had cheated before. But here goes: Q: What did the affair process look like? My ex-husband was cheating from day 1 as well. My best friend always reminds me that any man who is successful, nice, and even just okay looking is going to be a target for some women. Along with their wives and children, cheating husbands also risk losing money and their social network. Extreme insecurity: This fellow needs constant reassurance and he is always looking for sources of reassurance. Of course shes a narcissist and shes trying to play you. Also, my two cents on your own traits that correlate with the list. Cheaters tend to take stock in the reverse. So what should you do if your cheating husband wants to stay married to you? Matter of fact it makes him that much more appealing. Omg, they catch a man hook line and sinker. He may feel that his marriage is over and thats why he cheated. I am not shy but he made me blush and nervous and heaped a lot of praise and attention on me. A cheater's secrets can often be revealed through their recent calls list, in text messages on their phone, or a private folder in their email. You may have gotten into his head for a little whole, but you thought you needed to ruin a good man to end up getting your way. Im not an expert but thats not a good sign, still feeling sympathy toward affair partner. Sure they can overcome it but it will take a lot of personal fortitude and work and even then they still know they can do it AND get away with it for a while. SP in answer to your request for suggestions: As the CS, I am wondering if my APs wife could have done anything that would have stopped us in our tracks. I tried talking to her and being nice but she was just too stupid to get it. I never questioned why he moved to my area. You deserve so much happiness in life, I hope your h shows you everyday, just how much you mean to him, yet I know as well, being a bs, I want to be shown as well, and just as much, probably a bit more too, just quietly, I deserve it lol. BTW you and Eyes are not one of the PIGS. I also like to be alone a lot, and have solitary interests, like reading, crafts, playing games , watching movies. Me wondering wtf I had done. Once he saw me, he was covered in guilt, and must have thought that he was in too deep to ever think I would want to keep him. I catch up with friends rarely, and just pick up where we left off when we do meet. Although he did open the gates to my longer, more significant AP. He wont have a bar of it, we are married for 23 yrs, not 21, you have always been my wife and the one I love lol. So skanky breathe, this is to you. They often struggle with poor impulse control and a lack of personal accountability. Hoffman suggests you "give them your password logins, share a calendar, over-communicate about your comings and goings. I am an introvert, not really concerned with appearances, grew up with many positive marriage role models, dislike talking on the phone or texting, emailing a lot. Sarah P. Some men never stop looking for the affair - they are serial cheaters whose affairs have nothing to do with relatedness to another, intimacy, sharing, pain or silence-They connect as conquest to bolster a well hidden but fragile ego. Anyone else out there have ideals similar to these and stick to them in all situations? How do I get rid of whiteheads on my nose naturally? Engaging in secretive behaviors. It was a beautiful time, but you know that was as tainted as they come, of a wedding anniversary. In addition to societys opinion, some cheating husbands stay married because theyre afraid of what their friends and family will think if they were to find out. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. It all depends on the degree to which these traits rule and define the persons life. I really appreciate your input. He had told me he had stopped speaking with the ow, but the week we moved, I heard their telephone conversation one night as he came home in his car, as I waited. This next point could well be the most apparent reason for cheaters not to show remorse. Do you think you had different reasons for entering into it than your affair partner did? I saw the good in you, and I could see how desperately you wanted to seek help. Reason 1: You teach people how to treat you. Dont EVER let her see that. These type of ow dont let go that easy. Let me tell the most painful thing that ever happened to me was not a he but my wife. A cheating spouse may not truly care about his affair partner at all. WHAT a great British word!!! How do you keep stuffed peppers from getting watery? He would be out the door. This is how they live; basically, their whole life is built around being able to score with another person. That is the last two years of nightmare marital bliss. So staying married seems like the best option, at least for now. Ever. We have spoken openly about my view of how this happens and he validates my feelings. So in a way it was my fault for giving her what she needed, to get her hooks into him. Maybe he still plans on ending the affair. Hopefully he will never let his guard down, I know I wont. He works in an environment where everyone works in a large room that is full of computers and everyone is always around the other. Thanks Giz. Long way, and you have been so insightful too. Is rhis a description of the president elect? I know which wine goes best with a slab of steak, but, for a slab of butt-kicking, not so much. As my dad says, men, just like dinosaurs, have two brains one in their head and one in their tail. Once my intuition told me it was along the lines of interested, I said, Hey, wheres your wife? None the less, here we are, still fighting our way through all the crap the ea has thrown at us, and surely but slowly, seeing the fruits of all our hard work.

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