funny responses to what are you doing this weekend10 marca 2023
I should add it somewhat depends on how well I know the person. So the question layers, starting with are you free Saturday? Are a strategy Ive used to hopefully take the pressure off other people. What are you doing Thursday? "It's Friday baby!! Which for neurotypical types, is something that may not be hard to adapt to, but youre kind of being set up to failbecause that kind of question is exactly the kind of thing you would have been taught to do in kindergarten. Thats a very uncomfortable and isolating feeling. I usually just say Im doing laundry. No, seriously, TheDukeDevlin has the correct answer. Making conversions . What you are currently doing. I know its a big favor, but obviously I would pay you, and I have cable, high-speed internet, and a chocolate fountain with dark, milk, and bittersweet streams. But most of all, thats my time with my kids, and Ive realized that Im missing it. When I asked him later, What the heck? 3. #1078: Sooooooowhat are you doing thisweekend?, Follow CaptainAwkward.com on WordPress.com. Thank you!!! I love you. I think there is something to be said for family relationships between adults where the balance is between emotional labor and responsibility for the home rather than money. "It's happening.". She had already asked him. I know its a common question and Im sure most people dont mean anything bad by it. Im from here. BUT! I mean, what else are you supposed to do with life? If theyre just curious, they can say so, if they want to invite you to something, it gives them the chance, and if you feel like engaging further, you can. Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? Teaching my fish how to swim. I automatically ask this without thinking about it pretty often. I really appreciate the feedback from the Captain and other commenters about the need to own my time and feel more confident in my right to respond when and how I want to. This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list. Me: Nope. It feels like they expect me to put in the majority of the effort, and it would be nice if once in a while instead of saying I dont see you enough they would say Would you be up for meeting up at the coffee shop on my town on Saturday if [their issues] allow? But its not something thats going to change, so I smile and nod at their noises and continue to plan things with them at exactly the rate I feel like doing so (including making extra effort if theyre going through a really tough thing). She could NOT grasp that she was experiencing a cultural difference and the question wasnt going to stop because a) people were genuinely curious and/or wanted to show they were interested in her as a person and b) she was living in a part of the country where small talk was expected and people would consider it rude NOT to ask that question. I dont worry when people say no to me either. Him: Doing anything else? Not much fun, but also not optional right now. (Aunt doesnt need to know whether your laundry has reached the point of not going to have clean clothes to wear or not.). That would feel like a very odd response if I were making small-talk with the question. I get the rude stealth favor askers too and it irritates. For example, Looking forward to the weekend? or I hope you get to relax this weekend.; My take is that if they wish to continue the conversation, they will do so, but if not, they can reply with a Yes/No. My MIL does thatshe asks DH if we can come to dinner, and he says, Ill have to ask Toots. Then she calls me and asks me, and I say, I have to ask DH. Really early on, she did this, and then laughed at my answer and said, I asked him, and he said he had to ask you. Ah. The. The fallout you talk about? Yeah, I do the same. How it came to need an actual (although formulaic) response, Im not sure. Of course, YMMV, and you know your family and the situation better than I do. And then if Im busy (in truth or not), I can say, Oh sorry. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. I can find someone else, so dont worry if youd rather not-Mittens likes you, so I thought of you first, but I know at least two people who have been angling for some alone time with the fountain., Translation: Here are all the ridiculous things I am asking for, and the dubious rewards I can offer in exchange. I find mildly-but-not-entirely-absurd stock answers to be a good distraction. I recognize that the question can DEFINITELY be used to intentionally or unconsciously other people, Her problem with it seemed more about having to answer it ALL the time than any implied racism or xenophobia. Like I said, you know the people and the situation better than I, an Internet Stranger, do. And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. I would think that any event for which one needs to book a venue and/or hire a caterer would also be the sort of event to which one sends some sort of formal invitation, which is not really the case for the situations the LW describes. A: I'm planning to just take it easy. I like the fact that at my workplace, anything of that sort gets a polite reminder to all that US citizens come in accents of infinite variety, and its rude to imply that people arent from here in the same way that others are over something like an accent. In the UK I think some places greet each other with all right? all right? and nobody blinks an eye. The week after is all good. I also come from an area that tends to do a lot more indirect communication than I think many parts of the US, though, and tend to prefer a softer communication style unless someones being either rude or unaware enough to force me into being blunt. IMO the correct answer to we should get lunch some time or lets hang out is actually sure, Saturdays are generally good for me or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther. There is no need to think about what they're up to or why they sent you the . And we do have fun and hang out occasionally. I think it can also be a way of getting to know a person, or the kind of small talk that people in some regions feel they HAVE to make if they want to be polite. I find myself physically unable of disturbing her. If they want to invite me to something Im interested in and available for, I can say yes, and if its something I cant do, I can say I have other plans, etc without it sounding weird. Message Example #6: ( Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like Match, OkCupid or POF. Im super introverted and have medium to high levels of anxiety, depending on the situation. But then she would ask me to babysit her toddler. No one asks or cares, but its as vague as the original request and helps facilitate the DELAY! tactic the Captain talks about. And if I run into but surely you dont need BOTH days to yourself? Im also prepared to retort with something like, Maybe you dont, but Im very excited for two days to decompress. It's nice that they want to know about your plans, but their curiosity can feel more like an interrogation. (Right Now): What are you doing sometimes means at the very present in which activity are you involved in? I do have quite good boundaries with my family (after years of building them) and definitely only babysit when I want to. Maybe you can Google it. So in the next day or two, perhaps on some morning when you leave your house and shes there waiting for you, you tell her, firmly but cheerily with giant beaming smiles that the morning walks will be separate from now on because those are for you to have conversation with your children. This is something that consistently bothers me too although in my case its more just that I dont want to answer that question with my coworkers ever. We were asking about things they like or dont like about America compared to the countries they grew up in. I hope this email finds you well. Soft invites in my friend circle are more just a mutually understood shorthand for I value your friendship so Im going to express a genuine desire to hang out even were both depressed and introverted and therefore the likelihood of this actually happening is pretty low.. I can see where laundry might be a perfectly good excuse NOT to go with your aunt to somewhere you dont want to go. Why not be honest? And it happens often enough, with friends/family/acquaintances, that it can get annoying, but I generally dont jump straight to why do you ask unless theyve previously over-stepped in presuming my time was theirs since Im doing nothing (that I want them to know about or feel like talking about). When Im asked that question (by people other than DD), I usually go with Why do you ask?. Ive had good luck with, Fantastic! because no matter what is happening to me, I am still fantastic in various ways. This is another good and funny response to give to "whats up" because depending on who you say it to, they might find it to be relatable enough to laugh at. But when asking, I still tend to ask in layers so the other person has many outs to either say no or express no. Theres just no way, you see, that this is what a womans mind does, what she is for. What about you?. I wanted to stayyou can make why do you ask? be a friendly lineand you probably should. Funny Response to How Are You There are many fun things we could say and people will think that you're smart and interesting! I wish that just once I had the wherewithal to respond to a manipulative invitation like LW describes with the classic Phoebe Buffet line: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.. All of these. Even when its not meant as a hostile act (merely as an exoticising one thats so cool/I used to want to travel there/is it true that people there do x) being othered never feels welcoming. Read also. If I have to treat her like a grownup, and not like my minor child that I can boss around, she can fucking treat ME like a grownup, and not like her mommy that she takes for granted.. Why do you ask, why, is something happening, and why, whats up are different answers that extend the convo while not telling porkies. What works for you? And I had to say to her, over the airport thing: Act like a grownup. Im trying to train her out of the habit. What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". LWs parent. Thankfully, the discomfort is mostly on my end at this point. Absolutely, this too. Or at least, it will be seen as rude by many people that I know and had had this conversation with. In the UK, most encounters respond with fine/good/grand, how are you?, In formal encounters, respond with how are you?. Where I live, in Sweden, you can ask your family, friends, coworkers etc How are you? and the reply would typically be somewhere between Its good and Im a litte tired because the baby has a cold, but otherwise things are good, but never Kind of bad, my depression is making life really dark right now (at least not when used as a small-talk question). Im in my 20s and married, living away from home, but I feel like Im constantly playing tug-a-war with my parents and were fighting over boundaries. Suggesting someones internal dialogue over a situation is a pretty extreme response feels blame-y and a way to police someones (totally valid) feels. I like babies and pets just fine, but unless the baby is under a year old and sleeps a lot, and you have a super chill pet, Im not up to the task. And I try to be easier on myself for not having more exciting weekend plans. 1. If ever there was a moment for the standard Wow script, this surely would be it. And even if she did pay money (not rentbut to share in the household expense, which is different from rent, even if it is the same amount of money), I would still consider her to be part of my family and as such why WOULDNT she pitch in when I needed her to? Ive got some stuff to do around the house, etc. Your kids are loud. LW is pretty clearly not talking so much about people making casual small talk as people being roundabout manipulative. I actually liked her kid, and if shed just said she needed a sitter instead of tricking me into it, I wouldnt have minded babysitting.I ended up filling that child with sugar and caffeinated soda (he had a grand time), and forever answering Im so busy, ugh to all future questions about my plans. I chitchat with cashiers so its totally fine to say something like, Ah, gosh, so crazy today I got a flat tire and Im just grabbing something easy for dinner. In other words if you have the time and energy to construct a lowkey, mildly entertaining story then go for it, otherwise just stick with Great, how are you? and you can let the conversation drop from there. Thats a little heavy-handed to apply to someone from one letter. My daughter is also struggling with brainweasels and getting a job. No other teller (in this bank, or others that Ive been in) does this. Especially not in NYC, where housing is so tight, and especially when she doesnt have a job.). In this case it has the added benefit of short-circuiting the waiting for you to say nothing so I can guilt you into babysitting gambit. So, it's important to read the situation and know how well the person asking you out will respond to a little joke. I agree!! Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. If someone just says yeah that tells me theyre not actually that interested. To those who suggested building better boundaries with my family: Good advice. But a couple people have African-violeted me over this. Like Sounds great but tonight wouldnt work for me or Yknow what, Im pretty tired, I could have made something shorter work but that play will just be too much or just Hm, nah. From the sound of it, this is a dynamic already in place where LW faces various sorts of family opprobrium if LW turns down the cousin, and this is what LW is reacting to. Im relearning advanced math as an adult because it seems fun and Im bitter that I grew up in an atmosphere that discouraged me from learning. See also, sometimes when someone is rude or difficult, I will pretend they said something nice or appropriate and respond with a total non-sequitur. Give small truths. My nightmare would be something like this: Them: My 6 year old daughter and her class are putting together a full rundown of the classic opera La Traviata in the original Italian and itll end at 11PM on a weekday. 2. You always say Im working on my crochet projects this weekend. My mom recently moved from but why? to Ok, I guess you dont love me which is actually a sign things are going my way because its not a direct question. If you're worried your co-workers or boss will assume you need more to do if you don't talk about your heavy workload, go for this response. In a lot of cases I dont think its meant to be manipulative, its just a verbal tic. Mother likes to trap me. I feel like my best friend and I do this back and forth a lot, but thats because we understand there are tiers to plans. I disagree concerning the Where are you from? part. This is true, but it will almost certainly come with a cost. 18. What are you doing this weekend? But then again, Im always the person who answers strangers who say Are you X person with Who wants to know?. It doesnt matter if those plans are eating candy while watching Netflix with no pants on, they technically are plans. I guess turning down invites is probably just a point of stress for me though, because people have historically gotten annoyed at me for being busy and turning down their invites, when its just like Please find out if Im actually available first so you dont take it personally that I cant hang this weekend?. Your mother/father and I are going to X, would you like to come along?. We had to interrupt her to say, We = mom and me, and you got mad so fast, we never got to say would you like to come along? Then, I asked her, why did she ask ME? This is a great one because it invites the other person to tell you something that they want to share. I have close friends that Ive been upfront with and say Im totally a hermit, but I do like to be invited to events and will make them sporadically. Personally, Id recommend not babysitting at all for six months to allow cousin the time to get used to the idea that LW is not cousins handmaiden, then seeing if LW can re-engage with the cousin in a mutually respectful manner. I think thats why it can sometimes be difficult to answer? But I explained that I feel like Im being put on the spot- and I would prefer that she just ask me what she wants. See also: people who wont pick a restaurant, when the answer to every question is whatever you want.***. You are doing things and going places. 200 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Another option is to have certain chores that a certain person does (e.g. Which I learned is a great policy to do with favor sharks. etc. You an also use it to deflect people like the commenters who are entirely not malicious, because it can serve the same purpose of filling small talk, providing a topic of easy conversation, and/or signaling that you are busy but flexible to people you actually like. (Seriously? - Ogden Nash - Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. Yeah, I get that it is a soft invitation, but it also feels that the hard invitation has been tossed into my lap. So that golden rule requires a bit of pre-invitation sounding-out. What are you up to on Saturday? has often been my go-to when dealing with someone (like my sister) that I *know* will feel pressured to accept whatever Im suggesting whether or not she wants to or has the time/energy for it. The only tricky part I have encountered so far is if you actually say you are busy doing [thing] and instead have planned to watch the Winter Olympics with your cat, perhaps do not write an update about that to Facebook. I shall think on why. MY plans!) Born and raised in the US, and I also think this is a weird question not to answer literally. However, it is true that "hanging out" is not what a person often thinks of as "OMG awesome must be there!"
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